Back in the 1980's, right around the time I was hitting puberty, I had Joan Jett and Lita Ford to, ahem, pine after. They were smoking hot, and they rocked. Today, thanks to Lizzy Hale and Taylor Momsen, we have rock 'n' roll redux. Yowza.
According to my ex-girlfriends, both real and imaginary, I am: nice but mean; altruistic but selfish; hard-working but lazy; happy but moody; likeable but detestable; open-minded but judgmental; rational but deranged; forgiving but vengeful; accepting but insanely jealous; intelligent but stupid; pleasant but insufferable. The lesson, as always: women are fickle, as a feather in the wind. Either that, or I'm schizophrenic.
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