Sunday, November 2, 2014

Rooting for an entire conference

It's mind-numbingly stupid, and I don't know at what point it got started. I know who the biggest infractors are, though: SEC idiots. Those inbred hilljacks have zero loyalty or code. "I luv Alabama!" Alabama loses. "I luv Auburn too!" Auburn loses. "Go Florida!" Florida loses. "Go LSU!" And on and on it goes. Their latest thing is justifying their teams' losses -- yes, multiple teams -- because the SEC is so tough all their games are somehow national championship caliber. Retards. Here are the latest rankings, according to SEC fans:

1. Mississippi State (they just won against a tough SEC team)
2. Auburn (they gutted out a tough road win against an SEC contender)
3. Ole Miss (would have beaten the current number two team in the country had it not been for an unlucky break)
4. Alabama (their only loss was a tough road loss to the current number three team in the country)
5. Arkansas (just lost a heartbreaker on the road to the number one team in the country)
6. LSU (before last night, they were the only team to have beaten the current number three team in the country)
7. Florida (just destroyed the SEC team nobody wanted a piece of)
8. Georgia (would have beaten Florida soundly if Gurley hadn't been framed by haters)
9. South Carolina (they beat Georgia WITH Gurley)
10. Missouri (something about the south rising again)
11. Kentucky (because SEC)
12. Texas A&M (because SEC)
13. FSU (they're lucky)

Sunday, October 5, 2014

The Nones of October

I always get especially homesick around this time of year.  Here's hoping this will be my next-to-last autumn down south.

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Pull the plug

Enough, already. The human experiment has gone horribly awry. Created in His image my narrow, hairy, Armenian arse.

When we avidly heed the "expertise" of this fucking jack-ass while conveniently ignoring this, or this, or this, we've reached rock-bottom. But hey, it's all good! After all, these are all dirty, camel-fucking, America-hatin', would-be terrorists, right? That toddler that was dug out of the rubble should have been left to die like the filthy Ay-rab scum that he is. You know he's going to grow up to be a suicide-bombing piece of garbage. Hell, those fucking rag-heads probably staged the whole thing. Or so the state of Israel and all their anti-Semitic ass-kissers would have us believe. Yes, I wrote anti-Semitic. Palestinians are Semites, too. Our overall ignorance and disregard for life, human or otherwise, is staggering.

This shit has gone on long enough. Pull the fucking plug -- we don't deserve to live.

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

The Suárez and the Fop

I love Aesop's Fables. Always have. Given my lifelong pattern of self-destructive behavior, it stands to reason that this would be my favorite:

The Scorpion and the Frog

     A scorpion and a frog meet on the bank of a stream and the 
scorpion asks the frog to carry him across on its back. The 
frog asks, "How do I know you won't sting me?" The scorpion 
says, "Because if I do, I will die too."

     The frog is satisfied, and they set out, but in midstream,
the scorpion stings the frog. The frog feels the onset of 
paralysis and starts to sink. Knowing they both will drown,
the frog gasps, "Why?" 

     Replies the scorpion: "I could not help it; it's my nature."

So it is with Luis Suárez, Uruguay's enigmatic and bizarre anti-hero. A few days after single-handedly resuscitating La Celeste's World Cup dreams by scoring a brace against England, he inexplicably tried to take a bite out of Italian defender Giorgio Chiellini's shoulder.  The game was tied, and Uruguay had started to dominate because the thuggish Marchisio had been sent off for a brutal foul.  There was no apparent provocation, nor rhyme, nor reason.  Given Suárez's history, one can only surmise that he simply could not help it; it's his nature.

Saturday, March 22, 2014

History repeats itself

Back in the 1980's, right around the time I was hitting puberty, I had Joan Jett and Lita Ford to, ahem, pine after.  They were smoking hot, and they rocked.  Today, thanks to Lizzy Hale and Taylor Momsen, we have rock 'n' roll redux.  Yowza.

Monday, February 17, 2014

Sometimes they come back

The blues, that is.  And they did so with a vengeance last week.  Funny, because I'd been thinking about asking for -- nay, demanding -- a reduction in dosage and/or gradual tapering off my crazy meds.  So much for that now.  Shit was flat-out scary, especially because, like always, I couldn't come remotely close to pinpointing the source.  Epic fail.  I guess better living through chemistry is here to stay.