As one who lived through the all-too-painful John Cooper years, I haven't the words to describe my delight. Since The Sweater Vest took over the coaching reins at THE Ohio State University, we've won a National Championship (an outright championship, might I add, and not some pathetic, mythical, "shared" championship) and dominated The Greatest Rivalry In American Sports by going 6-1 versus the hated Michigan Wolverines. The Sweater Vest's run of success is nothing short of a-maize-ing, and next year's team promises to be ridiculously loaded. Michigan, on the other hand, can be thankful that neither Mike "I'll come back my senior year because I promise to beat the Buckeyes" Hart nor Chad "11-for-34 passing" Henne will be with the team next year.
Here's a little celebratory ditty by my fave Columbus band:
According to my ex-girlfriends, both real and imaginary, I am: nice but mean; altruistic but selfish; hard-working but lazy; happy but moody; likeable but detestable; open-minded but judgmental; rational but deranged; forgiving but vengeful; accepting but insanely jealous; intelligent but stupid; pleasant but insufferable. The lesson, as always: women are fickle, as a feather in the wind. Either that, or I'm schizophrenic.
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